Today would have been my mother’s 90th birthday, but instead, I lost her in 2008. She was only 73 years old. Eight years older than I am now, which is a sobering thought. She had a hard life; her father was much older than her mother, and his family had disowned him. I was never quite clear on why. Her mother was orphaned in Kyiv as an infant, and sent to live with an aunt in Saratoga Springs, New York. So they had no extended family. I never met my grandfather; he suffered several strokes throughout my mother’s childhood and passed away when she was 21 years old.
My mother grew up in Brooklyn. Her father couldn’t work because of the strokes, so her mother supported the family working in a toy factory. My mom had an older brother, but he had an intellectual disability. He never finished school but eventually got a job in a liquor bottling plant in Brooklyn. I was never clear on what he did exactly, but it didn’t pay much. My mother worked for as long as she could remember, babysitting when she was young, and when she was in high school, she worked as a model for Macy’s in downtown Brooklyn. She also prepped dinner every night, peeling carrots and potatoes. She cleaned the apartment, took care of her father after school, and took care of her brother as well. She graduated from high school with a secretarial degree, or something to that effect. She married my father when she was 18 years old, as many women did back then, wearing a beautiful wedding gown she borrowed from a friend.
My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. It came as a complete shock to my mother. My father left, went to Mexico for a quickie divorce, and came back two weeks later, married to my evil stepmother. My mother didn’t even date for many years, but eventually, she met Bob and married him. Those were the happiest years of her life, especially after my kids were born.
My mom was sick for many years. She had rheumatoid arthritis, TMJ, sciatica, and COPD, and lived in pain for more years than I care to think about. She was in bad shape but held on until my son came home from Tampa for a visit. He spent the weekend with her, and she passed away two days later.
She would have loved my daughter-in-law, and her great-grandchildren would have been the loves of her life, as they are of mine. I always thought I would miss my mom the most when something bad happened, and I do, but I miss her more when something good happens, like my son’s wedding, my daughter’s college graduation, and the birth of my grandchildren. I would have loved to share all that joy with her.
I am at that age where many of my friends have already lost their parents, or will sometime soon. No matter how old you are, it is difficult to lose a parent. Especially a mom like mine, who made me feel loved no matter what I did – I always knew she had my back, even when she criticized me (often,) or didn’t agree with my decisions (often). As Nana, she gave my kids that same gift, unconditional love, and even more remarkably, so did her husband, who my kids called Papa. When my son questioned what my husband and I wanted to be called by our new grandson, for some reason I wasn’t comfortable saying Nana and Papa. But when Jonah was a few months old, he brought it up again and we agreed, knowing we had enormous shoes to fill and hoping we could live up to the example set for us.
I miss my mom almost every day, and I’m glad I have this forum to write about her from time to time. Thank you, my readers, for indulging me.
Book News
What is the opposite of a literary snob? That would be the BookBitch.
I’m very excited to tell you that you can subscribe to and read The Washington Post Book Review weekly newsletter, written by the very witty Ron Charles. It is my favorite read about books. He said,
“Remember, free features like this either grow or die, so please tell your friends who might enjoy this newsletter that they can read it every week by clicking here.
(No, they don’t have to subscribe to The Washington Post.)”
Food News
This month’s Food News is dedicated to the retiring Pete Wells, restaurant critic for the New York Times for the past twelve years. He followed in some serious footsteps and held his own and then some…Frank Bruni, Sam Sifton, and going way back to my teen years, Mimi Sheraton – I remember my stepmother waiting each week for the restaurant review, then often making reservations, and the fabulous Ruth Reichl, who wrote a wonderful memoir, Garlic and Saphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise, about her time as the NY Time’s restaurant critic. No word yet as to who will follow Wells, but I’ve been told by a source at the NYT that Priya Krishna and Melissa Clark will be doing restaurant reviews on an interim basis until further notice.
WHAT YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT SALMON FROM ITS PACKAGING
So interesting!
Other News
After spending some time in Chicago, my family braved the South Florida heat and came to visit for a week! My beautiful new granddaughter is three months old and is the cutest. My three-year-old grandson is as sweet and smart as ever. (Not that I’m biased or anything!) It was a joy to spend some time with them!
As always, thanks for reading, and stay safe.
Thanks to The New York Times and The Washington Post for allowing me to “gift” my readers with free access to these articles, a lovely perk for subscribers.
Stacy Alesi's BookBitch.com™ 